This is a fantastic albeit a difficult piece, Bridget. I know it’s published here on substack but I’d encourage you to find a mainstream outlet if you can. Thank you for writing this piece and sharing it. Big hugs to everyone in your family.
I see so much of our story in yours, and what a hard comfort there is in that. My son has been insisting for years that no mental health treatments can help him. Last year, I gave up trying to get him to access help, to being his care-taker. It wasn't helping him, and it was harming me. I decided to just be his mom. It's a work in progress, but I think it's the best choice in a situation with no good ones. We're both doing better than we were. Thank you so much for writing this. Feeling alone in it is one of the hardest parts.
Thank you for taking the time to not only read, but to share. We are not alone even though the experience is incredibly isolating. I'm thankful to know our journey can be used for this type of connection. PS- I'm so happy for you both. 🖤
I agree this needs to be published on a mainstream outlet. As a mother, I can’t even imagine. Thank you for sharing your story. I know this will help many who have experienced similar situations. 🖤
Beautifully written and heartbreaking. I hope you keep up the long form storytelling because your voice brings the issues close to home and makes emotional extremes relatable.
Once again, our stories eerily align. My incarcerated sister is, above all else, mentally ill and on the autism spectrum (previously diagnosed as Asperger's). When I first published a piece about her on Substack, I wrote how I wanted to have "until you walk in our shoes" tattooed on my forehead in response to all of the (mostly well-meaning) comments and suggestions offered about her care. She is also in solitary and minimally attended to in our beyond broken system. We are unable to see her, and in her most recent messages, it is clear that she has now spiraled into full-blown psychosis. Thanks for sharing your stories. Makes me feel less alone. I don't know anyone else in my everyday life with an incarcerated loved one.
And thank you for sharing back. We have to be honest, in the safe ways and with good people, in order to make it through. I hate that your sister is living life this way. She deserves better. I hate that you have to endure it too. 🖤
No words. I'm in constant awe of parents, of parenting. My own mom was " the only parent that was nice" to a lot of neighborhood outsiders. I'd come home and find kids sitting at the table, playing their guitar for her, just hanging out. She could do for them what she couldn't do for me, what I couldn't accept from her was probably more the truth.
Oof, that's so insightful for me to read- both as a daughter and a mother. We are sometimes so much nicer to those in "need" and more demanding of those closest to us. I'll be chewing on this for a while.
I wish that I could not relate to any of this. The “system” has been failing our children for so long. I can't wait for the day we are reading posts about your victories for your son and the broken system. You are fighting a tough system but your voice is powerful and inspiring.
Your writing has opened my eyes and heart in a way that I can't compare to anything else I've read in a long time. It's your perspective as a mother that makes it so relatable to me, and the way you combine your family's personal story with the bigger picture makes your essays feel so important. I agree with what others have said, I hope your writing finds an even wider reach.
This is a fantastic albeit a difficult piece, Bridget. I know it’s published here on substack but I’d encourage you to find a mainstream outlet if you can. Thank you for writing this piece and sharing it. Big hugs to everyone in your family.
Thank you reading and for this wonderful vote of confidence. I would like to begin shopping these pieces. It's time. 🖤
Bridget, you are a damn fine writer with a story I wish we're not true (or common). Thank you for sharing the urgency, despair, and hope with us.
I am so grateful to you-- For your reading my stuff, sharing my stuff, and supporting our ugly life journey. Thank you.
I see so much of our story in yours, and what a hard comfort there is in that. My son has been insisting for years that no mental health treatments can help him. Last year, I gave up trying to get him to access help, to being his care-taker. It wasn't helping him, and it was harming me. I decided to just be his mom. It's a work in progress, but I think it's the best choice in a situation with no good ones. We're both doing better than we were. Thank you so much for writing this. Feeling alone in it is one of the hardest parts.
Thank you for taking the time to not only read, but to share. We are not alone even though the experience is incredibly isolating. I'm thankful to know our journey can be used for this type of connection. PS- I'm so happy for you both. 🖤
Thank you so much.
I agree this needs to be published on a mainstream outlet. As a mother, I can’t even imagine. Thank you for sharing your story. I know this will help many who have experienced similar situations. 🖤
Thank you for this nudge. It's time to get this ‘out there'!!
Beautifully written and heartbreaking. I hope you keep up the long form storytelling because your voice brings the issues close to home and makes emotional extremes relatable.
Til I Collapse. Thank you for this encouragement. 😉
Once again, our stories eerily align. My incarcerated sister is, above all else, mentally ill and on the autism spectrum (previously diagnosed as Asperger's). When I first published a piece about her on Substack, I wrote how I wanted to have "until you walk in our shoes" tattooed on my forehead in response to all of the (mostly well-meaning) comments and suggestions offered about her care. She is also in solitary and minimally attended to in our beyond broken system. We are unable to see her, and in her most recent messages, it is clear that she has now spiraled into full-blown psychosis. Thanks for sharing your stories. Makes me feel less alone. I don't know anyone else in my everyday life with an incarcerated loved one.
And thank you for sharing back. We have to be honest, in the safe ways and with good people, in order to make it through. I hate that your sister is living life this way. She deserves better. I hate that you have to endure it too. 🖤
Same to you, sister. It’s bad enough with a sibling. Can’t imagine it being my son. My heart is with you.
No words. I'm in constant awe of parents, of parenting. My own mom was " the only parent that was nice" to a lot of neighborhood outsiders. I'd come home and find kids sitting at the table, playing their guitar for her, just hanging out. She could do for them what she couldn't do for me, what I couldn't accept from her was probably more the truth.
Oof, that's so insightful for me to read- both as a daughter and a mother. We are sometimes so much nicer to those in "need" and more demanding of those closest to us. I'll be chewing on this for a while.
I wish that I could not relate to any of this. The “system” has been failing our children for so long. I can't wait for the day we are reading posts about your victories for your son and the broken system. You are fighting a tough system but your voice is powerful and inspiring.
Thank you, friend. Waaaay too long but moms are stronger than systems. Every day. All day. 🖤
Your writing has opened my eyes and heart in a way that I can't compare to anything else I've read in a long time. It's your perspective as a mother that makes it so relatable to me, and the way you combine your family's personal story with the bigger picture makes your essays feel so important. I agree with what others have said, I hope your writing finds an even wider reach.