22 Comments
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Pat Sharp's avatar

Bridgit We are all human so we will make mistakes. I know I had realized just lately what I had neglected to do while I was raising my boys. Also we are victims of our upbringing as you had stated earlier. Please dont blame yourself entirely

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Bridget Young's avatar

Thank you for this kindness. My work in recovery allows me to take ownership of what's mine and offer others their own. 🖤

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Kelly Thompson TNWWY's avatar

Brava. “I did not quit drinking three years ago because I was powerless over it nor had my life become unmanageable.” In the rooms that’s known as a “problem drinker” who has not crossed the line into powerlessness and unmanageability. I hope you never do. I love every word of this essay.

What you describe is actually the category recovery culture tends to overlook: the person who recognizes the trajectory before it crosses into powerlessness or unmanageability. That’s as valid a form of recovery as any other—maybe even more radical.

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Bridget Young's avatar

I crossed that line in youth and I know that if I ever start up drugs again, they will kill me. I return to the table now for codependency but it is all the same. We are powerless over these things.

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Backroad Portfolio's avatar

Bridget, you really have a grasp on writing with intention, meaning, and feeling. I read all the way to the end. All moms may not have experienced what you have, but your voice and honesty helps us understand what it has been like for you, and how we might feel if we were in your shoes.

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Bridget Young's avatar

It's such an honor to know that anyone reads to the end of these long posts. Truly. Thank you.

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Gina's avatar

I love this and found it so relatable! I've said this before, but know that I am a call away anytime! Thank-you for sharing your personal journey! I always look forward to reading your blog! ❤️

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Bridget Young's avatar

I'm so very thankful for you.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

"I am powerless over anything but my reactions" Not me. I'm completely powerless over my reactions, but I'm completely responsible (now that I'm sober) for my actions, which I can control.

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Bridget Young's avatar

I love this, Jodi.

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Sarah Hauser's avatar

Hi Bridget, I really appreciate you sharing your journey with such honesty and heart, and all the many aspects and feelings flowing through that journey. Learning that we can't control other people, that we can only control our reaction has been a lesson it took me years to learn for real. Just becoming aware of it was a huge step in the right direction for me. Sending love to you and your boy, and hoping for all the best.

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Bridget Young's avatar

Aww, thank you for reading and for such a thoughtful comment. I think this is a lesson of a lifetime that will take me into forever to master but it sure is nice to know I'm not alone. 🖤

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Kelly's avatar

This one hits home!

Love you🥰

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Bridget Young's avatar

😘😘😘

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Leslie Senevey's avatar

So well said. I think if I had to boil my parenting down to the single most important lesson I tried to instill in my kids, it was You cannot control other people. You can only control your own actions and reactions, so make sure you are always proud or at least ok with yours.

It took me a long time to learn this for myself, and I wanted them to get it way sooner in life.

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Bridget Young's avatar

So true. I'm definitely still leaning this as a grown person. They're gonna be ahead of the game. 🖤

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Jenny Rickard's avatar

Way to write! Recovery is recovery in whatever way we need it to be! Magic, miracles and change through self-awareness is happening. Just for today! I love this and you <3

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Bridget Young's avatar

Gosh, I am so grateful for you. You're part of the magic, friend.

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Marijo Grogan's avatar

Your writing is so powerful. I was blown away by the statistics comparing

overdose deaths with auto and gun deaths. This is an important education

for all of us. Thank you!

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Bridget Young's avatar

Isn't that crazy? When we scream on and on about gun safety but don't address substance use and dependency, I get a little annoyed.

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M.L.E.'s avatar

Clove cigarettes. I can still smell' em.

I quit alcohol a little over 2 years ago. I was a grey area drinker who always wanted to drink less than I did and then I got breast cancer and that scared me enough to eventually quit, though still two years after my diagnosis. I know what you mean about how it wasn't "hard" to quit, but also, sometimes I still think, "god I'm so boring maybe I should..."

Thanks for writing. Love this ending: "The truth is, we're all recovering from something and we all think we're in control of uncontrollable things until we're not— the weekend drinks, our spouse, the way our kids will turn out. Here is my loving reminder to us that we exist only in this moment. Right here is where the magic can happen, and that is true Recovery— at least, it is for me."

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Bridget Young's avatar

That smell is so tangible, even today having not been around a Clove in decades. Thank you for highlighting what hits for you. This helps me so much to know what matters to readers, and what connects us all. ;)

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