I could not even finish this article before first falling to the floor in pieces and feeling the enormous suffering you must be experiencing. My heart breaks for your sweet boy. I remember his rambunctious energy and beautiful smile from what feels like yesterday. I want you to know that you have my support and love. I am on my own mission to help the world come back to love and community and I know how big of a task it can feel like. Know that you are supported and loved. Your voice is a gift the world needs to receive. Please tell me how I can support you best in getting this very important message out 💖
A society is judged by its treatment of its prisoners. We fail miserably. I had my own personal hell over my son’s 3 incarcerations. Long before he entered this world I had a friend from a broken home who ended up in a maximum security prison for stealing from a gas station attendant(yeah, a long time ago), around 1977. He joined his older brother who was serving a 20 year sentence for murdering his wife. I visited and attended a holiday program, joining other visitors and convicts. The prison allowed everyone to mingle. Of course I sat with other murderers as there was a certain hierarchy by crimes committed. I discovered the amount of contraband smuggled in was extensive with guards supplying most of the drugs. I was not searched except to empty my pockets and lock my wallet up. Prison was a state facility run by state employees. I knew a guard of 20+ years who retired before the race to the bottom by outside corporate entities.
None of it has improved, only gotten more cruel, indifferent and a comparison to third world countries.
My daughter (24 yrs old) is recently and seriously dating a young man who was incarcerated for 7 years here in Michigan. He got out in July of this year. He is 25 years old. I was shocked and horrified to hear how he was treated in prison, including being in the hole for a long stretch for (as you stated) self-defense. He nearly died there with a broken jaw, no change of clothes for (if I remember correctly) two months. His family didn’t know where he was… somehow someone advocated for him and he was admitted to hospital. This is only one of his stories. This is 2026… and treatment of prisoners is shockingly barbaric. Like your son he was a first time, non-violent offender.
Oh my goodness, yes. Without advocates and a few people who do hard work every day to keep an eye on the pulse of things, most of our sons/daughters are left to rot-- literally. My heart breaks for this young man and for the impact all of that must have had on his life. People who break rules are still humans. They still deserve a chance to reset and do better. Our prisons do not allow that.
I just wanted to make a comment about the no change of clothes. He said his clothing was molding on his skin and rotting on his body. His skin was completely infected. This is America?
I remember the first time I realized that bad things can happen to good people and that “systems” are in place to obfuscate and slow down and make nothing work in a way that makes sense. And that no matter how hard you try, you cannot best this madness. In fact in times like that you are punished for being human. It was when my father in law was taken under guardianship by a predatory county public guardian who was in cahoots with all the probate lawyers and social workers and god knows who else. He wasn’t allowed to see his wife because she got upset when she saw him in the nursing home neither of them had chosen. She was only allowed to see him when he was dead. He lost his personhood under guardianship. And the right to make decisions or have any of his family ( who he was legally no longer related to be all intents and purposes, and who had no jurisdiction over him, even though they knew him better than anyone and knew his wishes) technically he was no longer married to his wife. Because he was a ward of the state. And this is what we do to sick people in this country. We incarcerate them - whether it’s prison or jail or a nursing home - and take their humanity from them. There are no more grey areas. It’s black or white. And no one wins when it’s just black and white. I’m so sorry your son is subject to these horrific rules and deprivations. It’s easy for people to be judgmental in these circumstances, because they stop seeing people as human and see them as monsters who are not babies who were cradled and rocked and who never have been. And that’s why the system doesn’t change. And the people who know the real truth, like you, are often too exhausted to keep shouting it from the rooftops, and it’s a war of attrition that is hard to win. So many give up and walk away, glad when it’s over. It’s the same in guardianship and nursing home lobby. By the time the guardians have taken your relatives money, put them in horrible facilities and the person has died of infected wounds and at the end of the day, everyone is exhausted. Sending you hope for one or two iotas of peace and comfort and also sending that to your son.
I am sorry that I am only just now seeing this comment! Thank you for this insight and these parallels. We live in a punishment, strong-arm, I'm-better-than-you society. Shoot, all of mankind has yet to evolve past the fear that causes us to try and control other people fully when kindness would serve us all better in the long run. I am saddened by your story but so thankful to know that good souls who *know* are out here. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Bridget, I was so happy to see your comment on my comment. I had forgotten about that comment but I still stand by it 1000 percent. How are you doing today and how is your beloved son doing? Sending you both wishes for comfort, peace and release for your boy!l
I could not even finish this article before first falling to the floor in pieces and feeling the enormous suffering you must be experiencing. My heart breaks for your sweet boy. I remember his rambunctious energy and beautiful smile from what feels like yesterday. I want you to know that you have my support and love. I am on my own mission to help the world come back to love and community and I know how big of a task it can feel like. Know that you are supported and loved. Your voice is a gift the world needs to receive. Please tell me how I can support you best in getting this very important message out 💖
A society is judged by its treatment of its prisoners. We fail miserably. I had my own personal hell over my son’s 3 incarcerations. Long before he entered this world I had a friend from a broken home who ended up in a maximum security prison for stealing from a gas station attendant(yeah, a long time ago), around 1977. He joined his older brother who was serving a 20 year sentence for murdering his wife. I visited and attended a holiday program, joining other visitors and convicts. The prison allowed everyone to mingle. Of course I sat with other murderers as there was a certain hierarchy by crimes committed. I discovered the amount of contraband smuggled in was extensive with guards supplying most of the drugs. I was not searched except to empty my pockets and lock my wallet up. Prison was a state facility run by state employees. I knew a guard of 20+ years who retired before the race to the bottom by outside corporate entities.
None of it has improved, only gotten more cruel, indifferent and a comparison to third world countries.
Thank you for this! You are 100% correct.
Thanks for continuing to reveal what's really going on in the prisons. Eye opening, and, heart-wrenching.
Thank you for continuing to read. <3
Thanks for resharing this article you wrote last year. And for sharing your journey as a mom.
Thank you for witnessing it. Honored to have you here.
My daughter (24 yrs old) is recently and seriously dating a young man who was incarcerated for 7 years here in Michigan. He got out in July of this year. He is 25 years old. I was shocked and horrified to hear how he was treated in prison, including being in the hole for a long stretch for (as you stated) self-defense. He nearly died there with a broken jaw, no change of clothes for (if I remember correctly) two months. His family didn’t know where he was… somehow someone advocated for him and he was admitted to hospital. This is only one of his stories. This is 2026… and treatment of prisoners is shockingly barbaric. Like your son he was a first time, non-violent offender.
Oh my goodness, yes. Without advocates and a few people who do hard work every day to keep an eye on the pulse of things, most of our sons/daughters are left to rot-- literally. My heart breaks for this young man and for the impact all of that must have had on his life. People who break rules are still humans. They still deserve a chance to reset and do better. Our prisons do not allow that.
So true, and that is why as we see his desire to change we are accepting of him. It is 💔
Thank you for loving him. Sincerely, the mom of another man who will need good people to accept and love him on the other side too.
I just wanted to make a comment about the no change of clothes. He said his clothing was molding on his skin and rotting on his body. His skin was completely infected. This is America?
I remember the first time I realized that bad things can happen to good people and that “systems” are in place to obfuscate and slow down and make nothing work in a way that makes sense. And that no matter how hard you try, you cannot best this madness. In fact in times like that you are punished for being human. It was when my father in law was taken under guardianship by a predatory county public guardian who was in cahoots with all the probate lawyers and social workers and god knows who else. He wasn’t allowed to see his wife because she got upset when she saw him in the nursing home neither of them had chosen. She was only allowed to see him when he was dead. He lost his personhood under guardianship. And the right to make decisions or have any of his family ( who he was legally no longer related to be all intents and purposes, and who had no jurisdiction over him, even though they knew him better than anyone and knew his wishes) technically he was no longer married to his wife. Because he was a ward of the state. And this is what we do to sick people in this country. We incarcerate them - whether it’s prison or jail or a nursing home - and take their humanity from them. There are no more grey areas. It’s black or white. And no one wins when it’s just black and white. I’m so sorry your son is subject to these horrific rules and deprivations. It’s easy for people to be judgmental in these circumstances, because they stop seeing people as human and see them as monsters who are not babies who were cradled and rocked and who never have been. And that’s why the system doesn’t change. And the people who know the real truth, like you, are often too exhausted to keep shouting it from the rooftops, and it’s a war of attrition that is hard to win. So many give up and walk away, glad when it’s over. It’s the same in guardianship and nursing home lobby. By the time the guardians have taken your relatives money, put them in horrible facilities and the person has died of infected wounds and at the end of the day, everyone is exhausted. Sending you hope for one or two iotas of peace and comfort and also sending that to your son.
I am sorry that I am only just now seeing this comment! Thank you for this insight and these parallels. We live in a punishment, strong-arm, I'm-better-than-you society. Shoot, all of mankind has yet to evolve past the fear that causes us to try and control other people fully when kindness would serve us all better in the long run. I am saddened by your story but so thankful to know that good souls who *know* are out here. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Bridget, I was so happy to see your comment on my comment. I had forgotten about that comment but I still stand by it 1000 percent. How are you doing today and how is your beloved son doing? Sending you both wishes for comfort, peace and release for your boy!l
Everything that is wrong with America, is down to putting profits over humanity. This just isn’t right. Sending you all strength and love ❤️
I appreciate this. More than you know. 🖤
I am so sorry you are all going through this but especially your son.