Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry that happened to you, to your friend. It WAS a mistake & you do deserve joy, & I can see how there's no way to put it down, to let it go. I know two young men who were at the wheel when others died; both cases were terrible, horrible, unintended accidents. Do you have any thoughts on how we -- the community at large -- can better support those who unintentionally cause harm to others?
Oh, what a powerful and insightful question. I realize now, looking back, that other people were what got me through my darkest days of guilt and shame. Being included, being invited, having other friends' parents "like" me enough to make me feel welcome in their homes. People say with me at the cemetery. I know people came to my trial in support of me (I just don't remember who). There were others who looked me in the face and told me it wasn't my fault, that I wasn't alone. There were some that just kept showing up, letting me be a mess, but refusing to see me as broken. I was so blessed with strong, non-judgemental adults and the forgiveness of my friend's family. Without that, I'm not sure where I'd be today.
Bridget, what a moving and honest piece. I recall that happening and I will remember him always. Reflecting on it now, I did not realize the impact it had on you as naive as that sounds. I am so sorry about that. We were all so young. I can honestly say that I never held judgment or thought you were to blame for any of it. I do not recall hearing that from others either, not that that matters in the big scheme of things, but I know that can carry weight. I do recall my mom saying she wished she could give you a hug. Compassion & understanding was there.
We cannot explain all the things that we experience in our lives, but you do deserve peace. We were not “best friends” in high school, but I can say with complete honesty, that you are one of the strongest, fiercely intelligent, beautiful soul that I have ever met in my life. That one moment in time does not define the woman you have become, it just strengthened her.
I do hope that by you sharing this with the world, that it continues to help you heal.
(*I wrote this directly from my heart, so please excuse any errors you may find~heart girl, not a grammar girl😉) ~ much love & peace to you always!
Thank you for sharing, I vaguely remember that time in our lives , like so much I have locked it away in hopes that the current and future situations will be better, however no matter how much we grow, move forward, or try to reinvent ourselves, the past never fully lets go. It lingers—not always as a burden, but as a shadow woven into the fabric of who we are. We can change our circumstances, rewrite the narrative, or distance ourselves from the people and places that shaped us, but we can’t unlive what we've lived.
The past carries our regrets and mistakes, yes, but also our resilience. The pain we endured, the choices we made—good or bad—etched lessons into us that no clean slate can erase. Even when we rise above the people we once were, we rise because of them. Our past becomes the foundation beneath our transformation.
To deny it would be to deny our depth. We are layered by every version of ourselves, each one leaving fingerprints on our thoughts, our fears, our kindness, and our strength. The past is not the whole story, but it's a chapter that cannot be unwritten. And maybe that’s a gift. Because without it, we wouldn’t be who we are—flawed, growing, and real.
Thank you for sharing so vulnerably. I am so sorry for all involved. May healing and forgiveness be found. May you see and hear the sound of the prison door opening, and walk out in freedom. I pray you’ll refuse to let the enemy of your soul keep you there. 🙏💕
One moment can define our lives (how well I know) in ways we cannot imagine and I think the healing - as you say - never ends and of course we blame ourselves and though my moment was different it was a lifetime sentence too and I think in hindsight we must gather the girls we were in our arms and rock them. My girl and yours. Such heartbreak and not their fault but how could they know or guess that moments happen to the best of us and the worst and we are all innocent - we are loved beyond measure.
You write so powerfully Bridget, of such a very tragic situation for all involved. And I appreciate Jennifer’s question, and your answer, below. I’ve learnt a lot from this courageous piece of writing; one of the things being that to show up in all our vulnerability allows space for love to breathe amongst us all. Thank you for that.
Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry that happened to you, to your friend. It WAS a mistake & you do deserve joy, & I can see how there's no way to put it down, to let it go. I know two young men who were at the wheel when others died; both cases were terrible, horrible, unintended accidents. Do you have any thoughts on how we -- the community at large -- can better support those who unintentionally cause harm to others?
Oh, what a powerful and insightful question. I realize now, looking back, that other people were what got me through my darkest days of guilt and shame. Being included, being invited, having other friends' parents "like" me enough to make me feel welcome in their homes. People say with me at the cemetery. I know people came to my trial in support of me (I just don't remember who). There were others who looked me in the face and told me it wasn't my fault, that I wasn't alone. There were some that just kept showing up, letting me be a mess, but refusing to see me as broken. I was so blessed with strong, non-judgemental adults and the forgiveness of my friend's family. Without that, I'm not sure where I'd be today.
Bridget, what a moving and honest piece. I recall that happening and I will remember him always. Reflecting on it now, I did not realize the impact it had on you as naive as that sounds. I am so sorry about that. We were all so young. I can honestly say that I never held judgment or thought you were to blame for any of it. I do not recall hearing that from others either, not that that matters in the big scheme of things, but I know that can carry weight. I do recall my mom saying she wished she could give you a hug. Compassion & understanding was there.
We cannot explain all the things that we experience in our lives, but you do deserve peace. We were not “best friends” in high school, but I can say with complete honesty, that you are one of the strongest, fiercely intelligent, beautiful soul that I have ever met in my life. That one moment in time does not define the woman you have become, it just strengthened her.
I do hope that by you sharing this with the world, that it continues to help you heal.
(*I wrote this directly from my heart, so please excuse any errors you may find~heart girl, not a grammar girl😉) ~ much love & peace to you always!
Thank you for sharing, I vaguely remember that time in our lives , like so much I have locked it away in hopes that the current and future situations will be better, however no matter how much we grow, move forward, or try to reinvent ourselves, the past never fully lets go. It lingers—not always as a burden, but as a shadow woven into the fabric of who we are. We can change our circumstances, rewrite the narrative, or distance ourselves from the people and places that shaped us, but we can’t unlive what we've lived.
The past carries our regrets and mistakes, yes, but also our resilience. The pain we endured, the choices we made—good or bad—etched lessons into us that no clean slate can erase. Even when we rise above the people we once were, we rise because of them. Our past becomes the foundation beneath our transformation.
To deny it would be to deny our depth. We are layered by every version of ourselves, each one leaving fingerprints on our thoughts, our fears, our kindness, and our strength. The past is not the whole story, but it's a chapter that cannot be unwritten. And maybe that’s a gift. Because without it, we wouldn’t be who we are—flawed, growing, and real.
Love you!
Thank you for sharing so vulnerably. I am so sorry for all involved. May healing and forgiveness be found. May you see and hear the sound of the prison door opening, and walk out in freedom. I pray you’ll refuse to let the enemy of your soul keep you there. 🙏💕
One moment can define our lives (how well I know) in ways we cannot imagine and I think the healing - as you say - never ends and of course we blame ourselves and though my moment was different it was a lifetime sentence too and I think in hindsight we must gather the girls we were in our arms and rock them. My girl and yours. Such heartbreak and not their fault but how could they know or guess that moments happen to the best of us and the worst and we are all innocent - we are loved beyond measure.
Beyond powerful, Bridget. Thank you for highlighting the nuance of “the defendant”, the other side that most cannot (or will not) see.
You write so powerfully Bridget, of such a very tragic situation for all involved. And I appreciate Jennifer’s question, and your answer, below. I’ve learnt a lot from this courageous piece of writing; one of the things being that to show up in all our vulnerability allows space for love to breathe amongst us all. Thank you for that.